My children ask me. My mother asks me.
How did I get here? All I know is that we are moving — fast, on a train. We are not alone, I can hear many others muttering in this dark space. We must stay together. Wherever we are going we must stay together. I hear a number of crying children — afraid of the dark.
I hear prayers and whimpers from desperate mothers. Only they know what of. My beautiful husband was kil The new government soldiers. That is what they are scared of. Only they know why we are travelling. Through the gaps in the doors, I get a glimpse of where we are. My children are hungry but I have no food to give them. We made sure they would never go hungry; no matter how poor we were, even if it meant we went hungry.
I feel I have failed them. I tell them we will be there soon and we can eat then. The short, sweet breaths of my sleeping children are the only thing keeping me sane. I think they call it claustrophobic. My blouse collar feels like it is cutting into my throat.
There is as thin line of sweat I can feel appearing on my forehead. I am suddenly very aware of the small confined area where I sit, not knowing where I am going. I have to check on my mother frequently. I am worried she will get sick on this train.
She is all I have left of life, other than my children. I need her and she needs me. We have both lost our husbands now. I can sense that people on this train are yearning for their loved ones. They might have said goodbye, told them they loved them. The sun is blinding as we come to a halt after what felt like days.
I hold them tight to me out of hope and desperation. I look to my God for courage.
It is all I can do to hold back my tears. Pretend everything is ok. Stop my hands from shaking. We are loaded into a truck with many others. Like prisoners, it chokes me. My owner told me he was taking me on a walk. My tail was swaying as my excitement grew.
I waited patiently for my owner to put my lead on, and once it was on I sprinted out the house with my excitement overflowing. The name tag on my collar was rattling as I ran and my collar was rather tight.
As I ran out of the house, I walked down the pathway as I waited for my owner to lock up. As I walked, I suddenly got pulled back. He opened up the car door and made and arm gesture, telling me to get in. So, I jumped in and lay on the floor of the car as my owner started the engine.
I had been once before on a car journey. I was taken to a place with lots of soft squashy ground which crumbled when my paws touched it. There was a giant water puddle which I ran in. I licked the water and it was very salty, it almost tasted like gammon.
Gammon is my favourite, I used to get it every Sunday, from my owners left overs. The journey had taken an awfully long time. I could feel the cars engine warming up on my tummy, I must have been in the car for at least an hour, maybe even two.
I quietly jumped up onto the car seat, my owner never liked me sitting on them. The window was down so I looked around, but I did not recognise where we were. We eventually pulled up, it looked like an isolated place, no humans were in sight. We walked for a minute or so, before I saw a pole and did my business.
I tried walking on, but my owner pulled me back again, this time it was a lot more powerful than earlier on. He got my lead and wrapped it around the pole. He must have wrapped it around at least six times, and to finish he tied a tight knot. He walked away, his shadow fading as he got further away. I cried and barked, but it was no use. In other words, I had been abandoned. After two days, I was handed over to a place were there were lots of other dogs.
They looked after me well, they fed me everyday, but I missed my gammon. They found my name tag, and contacted my owner.
After what seems to be forever I am forced to leap up for the last time as I see a shape with a long thin body like mine but with what looks like four separate spiked heads coming to land right in front of me.
I now feel extremely uncomfortable which is when the slushing sound starts; followed by a gust of warm foamy water hit the back of my head and flush off the week-old custard mould.
We initially used Jo's email package to transition our baby into a cot in her own bedroom, and then a little further down the line, Jo stayed with us to help us to help her sleep through the night. Terence was gazetted as a Second Lieutenant on 17th April and after a brief posting to the 3rd Reserve Battalion, landed in France 22nd June. Captain Hutchinson was originally buried between the two original front lines from before the battle, just to the south of the Hulluch Road but his final resting place was either lost or disturbed as he is now remembered on the Loos Memorial to the missing.
I feel as if I can breathe again. The water keep on gushing past me polishing my delicate stainless steel figure, every now and then I also get a crust of dried cornflake scratch across my skin, but I am to busy embracing the feeling of the foam to care.
Soon the foamy water stops and a rush of sharp ice cold water replaces it. Then the noisy atmosphere around me dramatically changes and the hole I'm in becomes silent, dark and very lonely. Then the clanging noise shot through my ears again as I along with my four headed neighbour were thrown into separate sections of a drawer.
I soon learnt that in other words; I am a spoon, a piece of everyday cutlery used to eat things like custard, my neighbour, another piece of everyday cutlery; a fork and my journey; now a regular occurrence as the new owners of the house like to keep me shiny and clean. I like the new owners. I had to kill him. You see, my ex-husband Stephen wanted custody of our daughter Lily. There was no way I was going to allow that to happen.
He was the leader of the biggest criminal gang in New York and he has killed more people than I can count. Sadly, he had other ideas. Lily was happily playing in the garden one day during summer when Stephen kidnapped her. I knew it was him straight away.
Instead of involving the police, like any sane person would, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went to see my brother Ben who used to be best friends with Stephen before he became the leader of the gang.
I sneaked round to the back of the house. I looked around the kitchen. I searched the hall, the bathroom and the living room. I heard heavy breathing so I followed the sound upstairs.
Just a month later a mine was detonated in the 2nd Battalion's sector and the Bedfordshires attempted to move their line forward as the opportunity allowed. I feel so much happier and confident and I really think I am now a better mom for little Gabriel. Jesus is the only way to heaven.
I opened the first door and there they were; Stephen lying there with Lily asleep in his arms. Then I noticed something that scared me, a gun. Just as I was about to pick the gun up; a big hand came into contact with my own. I struggled to fight as Stephen was so much stronger than me but somehow I managed to free the gun from his hands and aim the gun at him.
His pleas fell on deaf ears as I was so intent on killing him. I looked at his lifeless body and smiled in satisfaction. Just then I noticed Lily trembling in the corner so I picked her up and dashed out the house, inhumanly fast.
I rushed down road after road, not knowing where we were going. After running for what seemed like forever we arrived at a train station and I bought two one-way tickets for the next departing train.
Wherever I go, it follows.
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